Awkward Things- Dating-

Hello guys. Boy, has it been an interesting week.

So if you read my previous blog you’d probably know that I find DATES-AWKWARD.
There is just this coherent sensation at the back of my head that something, somewhere will go wrong and I will be left at the end.

At the end of the last blog I mentioned how a girl gave me her number for a second date. Well I was delighted but again afraid that it might go awkward. So I did everything I could to avoid that. I wore my lucky socks and shoes and tried to look the best I could.

She met me (ON TIME) and we headed to the restaurant. We ate and we chatted and chatted. Before that I never realized that how easy it can be to talk to her. She knew how to start a conversation and how to keep them going and the silences that did happen were not uncomfortable or awkward. That hour and the mood and the food and the music everything made me want to admire her. The time spent can truly and only be described by WALT WHITMAN

A glimpse through an interstice caught,
Of a crowd of workmen and drivers in a bar-room around the stove late of a winter night, and I unremark’d seated in a corner,
Of a youth who loves me and whom I love, silently approaching and seating himself near, that he may hold me by the hand,
A long while amid the noises of coming and going, of drinking and oath and smutty jest,
There we two, content, happy in being together, speaking little, perhaps not a word.

Thank you Mr. Whitman! (Well it was a little different, but you get the sentiment right?)
We got out and walked. We walked and walked and talked. I made jokes and she smiled. The night air seemed heavy or was it just the drink, I couldn’t tell. And then it happened. The end to a perfect date (Yes, it was perfect) had to be spectacular and boy was it.
She told me that due to some financial problems her family had to move to another state. I couldn’t believe it. It was so sudden (AND HEARTWRENCHING!). They were leaving tomorrow she said. She also added how she was sad and I really helped her cope with the situation. And then she said, how she didn’t expect this but she really liked me and how she enjoyed her time with me AND that was it.
It’s been three days since she moved and it’s just a sad feeling that you may never meet a person like that before. But hey, atleast I met her and that’s more than enough I guess. I guess some people are worth that one time.
Thank you for reading.

Awkward Things-Dating.

I’m pretty sure many of you may have heard or even liked this piece of Robert Frost’s poetry-

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

 

Well, for me the world will probably end in awkward dates. Here’s how,

Dates are awkward, well atleast for me. All the dates I’ve been in (which are extremely few to begin with) have been awkward, tense or interrupted. Not the usual ‘You order or I order’ or the ‘OH! We went for the glass at the same time’ awkward, but ‘the cringe level over 9000 awkward’, ‘the uncomfortable long silences’ awkward. Well you may say that there is nothing uncomfortable about long silences if you have watched and are influenced by the movie “Pulp Fiction” (which I’m too) but believe me mates it’s totally different in the real world. (Things can be different if you are with your boss’s girlfriend. Clink!)

What you have to know about me is that I’m not really an outgoing person so whenever I’m near too much human interaction, I get nervous.

I’ve got a FEW (again, not many) experiences of my own about these awkward dates.

I met this girl once in the park playing with her little puppy and naturally I feel this sudden urge to pet the pupper. So I walk upto her and start petting (her dog). We start up a conversation and we are having a good time and I also make her laugh a couple of times (At this point my brain was literally yelling to stop and end it) and finally we decided to meet at 7 for our first date (Well!)

Well you know how I had a knack for failed dates, this was NO different. She was only an hour late for the date and after that it was just a series of unfortunate events (See what I did there!) We finally came to the restaurant and were met with packed seats and sullen faces. After rummaging for about half an hour we finally found some decent seats and ordered our food and sat waiting. But the thing we did not realize that we sat right next to a bunch of OVERENTHUSIASTIC foodies and you know how excited these people are. They kept describing each and every food saying how delicious it is and what are its variants in other foreign countries. They kept clicking pictures and were generally really loud. So!

Finally, our food arrived but by then half of my romanticism had been gone and I guess she felt the same too. So we just ate our food in silence (Those uncomfortable ones) and talked scarcely. Mainly by the end of it we knew where the other stayed and our surnames ( PROGRESS!!). After that it was just a blur, we came out, walked and then said good-bye. I got her number though but it is highly unlikely we will go on another one of those dates ( It’s been three weeks already.)

So you see how that is.

Another time was when I convinced a girl to go on a date with me and she finally agreed. The start was excellent. She came on time, we met with literally zero traffic, the restaurant was empty so we got a wide berth and the best thing no loud foodies. We were having a really good time UNTILL and you won’t believe it, she met with her middle school best friend and she just forgot about me and started talking about things with her. It was as if I never existed. As you can probably guess I was sidelined for the rest of the evening and that’s how it went.

So now you know why I have a thing about dates. Dates are awkward, scary and overrated. If you want to know someone know them when they are natural and not in some fancy restaurant with fancy clothes. But that doesn’t mean you stop going on dates, well you gonna stop someday after you have embarrassed yourself enough. Cheers!

P.S. That second girl, she called and said she was really sorry about what happened and wanted to make it up to me. So now I have a second date, fully pumped to see how awkward this one gets.

 

 

 

1. THE FIRST DATE

 

He sat on the couch in front of the T.V watching the pre-match presentation. That never really interested him, repeating the same strategies over and over again in a loop in different ways. Yet, he sat there waiting for Ronald. Ron had called him to calm him down for the big night with Jane. They were to go for their first date today. Ron was so excited that he couldn’t decide what he wanted to wear. Every once in a while he would pop out of the room and ask him “Hey Peter, how does this look?” “Fine” Peter would say irritated after a while. Peter was never really the one for dates and love, he was shy, antisocial and most of all alone, but he couldn’t tell no to Ron when he had asked.

Ron finally settled for a checked T-shirt and Denims. “This would impress her I guess” Ron said as they walked down the steps of Ron house. “You bet” Peter replied. Of money and looks Ron had no dearth the only thing missing from his life was love and that too ended when Jane came.

Jane had come to their high school a year ago and Cupid hit Ron at about the same time. After that all Ron talked about was Jane, how her eyes were of deep blue colour, how her golden hair shone in the sun, how her skin seemed so smooth and flawless and most of all how beautiful she was. It wasn’t until half a year ago that Ron finally managed to gather the courage to talk to her. It didn’t take much time for peter to notice how the two of them started stealing glances, how they smiled without saying anything when they looked at each other, how their friendship turned into something much more than that. Peter was happy for them.

Jane seemed good enough and Ron seemed happy with her. Peter had been Ron’s only friend since second grade. Once Ron had been surrounded by a couple of bullies. Frail as he was Ron started crying just after the first blow. It was Peter who had called the teachers upon the bullies and driven them away. From that day Ron and Peter had been best of friends. It was about time Ron had someone else.

They got inside Ron’s car and started towards Jane’s house. The plan was to pick up Jane from her place and then drop Peter home.

“You sure you don’t want to come?” Ron asked

“As much as I would love to see you attempt to fuck her, no I don’t.” Ron hit him in the arm.

“Damn, Peter. You are full of filth” he said with that half grin that he always had.

“And you are a dickhead” They both laughed.

Traffic was thin this side of the city. They enjoyed a swift ride with winds lashing down at their faces. Winter was crisp in the air. The sun was setting in the distance and people walked on the footpaths. Young teenagers going to parties, Men coming back from work, beggars begging and old men strolling. A few markets marked the roads, other than that the roads were thick with tress on either side.

They finally pulled alongside a lawn. Ron pressed the horn twice. Jane appeared from the front doors a few moments later. Peter felt Ron shift in his seat. Jane looked absolutely gorgeous. She wore a sleeveless red frock with matching shoes and laces. She had blond locks of hair falling on either side with brown eyes and sharp cheekbones. She looked like a goddess if that goddess wore a red frock.

They went outside. Jane hugged Ron and then peter. She wore a pleasant perfume which smelled of lilacs. Peter could see Ron blushing already. Peter felt him blushing too.

“Isn’t it a little cold for sleeveless?” Ron asked.

“And that is how you start it. God” Peter sighed. Jane laughed.

“Don’t worry I can face a bit of cold and besides I have you” She hopped and slid her hand into Ronald.

“Yeah” was all Ron could muster.

Peter slid into the back seat as Jane sat besides Ron. They both smiled at each other. Ron with his half smile and Jane with her beautiful face.

Ron had booked a fancy restaurant for the date just outside of town. He had a lot of money and he never hesitated to spend it. Some days Ron would take him to these restaurants and pubs and they would stand in the corner and make jokes and laugh and watched as the people lived their lives.

“You look lovely today, Jane” Ron said after a while in the car. It was cold outside and empty, but not too cold to roll up the windows, so they let the windows fall with the cold gusts of night wind kissing their faces.

“Thanks for noticing Ronald. You look handsome as well” Jane always said Ron’s full name, Ronald. Ronald found it cute but Peter found it time consuming.

“Yeah, I’m not even here” Peter said. Jane looked back towards Peter and with a smile she said, “Well no Peter. I noticed you. How can I forget you, after all you are the worst wingman ever” she stroked her blonde hair backwards behind her ears. “And as far as how you look. Well you look like….Peter usually looks” Ron laughed a little, Peter cracked a grin too. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment”

Jane had the right of it. Peter was never one for dressing. He preferred plain clothes over anything extraordinary. He could wear plain clothes everyday of his remaining life and that wouldn’t bother him.

The car turned over one of the more busy streets of the city. Many other cars sped past them bound for their destination. Ron sped up a little and the car grew colder still. They moved past slow moving taxies and trucks. The car turned once again into the only highway of the city. The road was narrow and traffic thin. I would be home quick now and then I would sleep, Peter thought. He was eager to know what would happen on the date but he was more eager to let his bed devour him and also he was hungry, he had been with Ron since morning.

They passed many slow moving vehicles when Jane said, “It’s a beautiful evening. So calm.”

“Yeah it is” Ron replied.

Peter couldn’t deny it. The evening was just the right mix of cold and humid. He watched the faintly lit horizon from the backseat of his car, admiring it, soaking it because evenings like this were few enough and they needed to be given attention.

And then it happened. Peter had been so immersed in admiring the beauty that he didn’t have enough time to see it, but he had a chance to look ahead and see the horror in the face of Ron as well. The truck hit from the side. The heavy metal scraping against the light, the tearing of metal, the tearing of flesh. We are dying was all Peter could think before the world started to spin. Round and round and round it went. Is this the way to afterlife. NO! NO! IDIOT! It’s the car. It’s the car that’s spinning. We are rolling, we are dying. Peter felt something tearing at his stomach, he didn’t feel it enough though. Am I already dead?

It was only a lifetime after which the world seemed to stop spinning and rolling. People had come rushing. They were blur figures giving out hands to pull him out. Help them. They had a date. They stole glances, they smiled at each other, she called him Ronald. THEY LOVED EACH OTHER was all Peter wanted to say but the only thing that came out was blood and gibberish words.

They pulled him up but his head hurt and he could see nothing, couldn’t breathe. The only things he could think about in those last moments were not about him but of how Ron talked of Jane all the time, how she smelled of lilacs, how they smiled at each other, how she said his name, how they loved each other. That would never happen was his last thought before he closed his eyes and woke up panting.

( IMPORTANT P.S- This is just the first part of a bigger story. If you liked it, hit like and comment below for the next. Thanks 🙂 Love.)

 

THE AFTERMATH

1.”FUCK” I couldn’t believe what was happening. I had been one of the richest blokes in the market and now I was going to be trash. Nothing.

“So where is he now?” I asked

“They took him after the raid” she answered

“Who brought them?”

“It was an anonymous tip. They were tracking the irregularities. They had hard evidence.” Even in these circumstances she was calm. No hint of anxiousness in her voice.

” Damn that bastard. I treated him as my brother and that piece of shit stabs me in the back” I could barely contain my anger. My hands trembling, from anger or fear I couldn’t tell.

“You should go home, Peter” she said ever as calm.

” Yeah I will, you go ahead Beth. I will probably linger around for a bit” I felt like crying. I could barely contain.

Beth placed the papers on the desk and came towards me. She gently kissed me on the cheeks.” Take care. Everything will work out” I wanted to believe her, however hollow that promise might be.

I gave her a weary smile and then she left.

Silence fell in the office. It was very quiet except for the humming of the heaters and the occasional honking of cars from the street below. The office looked bigger when empty. It was a rare sight. A sight I didn’t want to see. I started walking towards my chair. It was a huge chair, regal in appearance. My chair which had commanded respect and authority for over 10 years now. I sat and felt that cushions which had been shapened according to my bodily dimensions from my many years of use. I had bought it from my companies first profits and those profits had come to haunt me now. I thought about everything that had happened and everything that would happen. Is it a nightmare, I thought, I so much wanted it to be.

 

2.I have always been weary of people. I always had a tendency of avoiding them. But then I fucked up and fell in love and that was the hardest fall I ever had.

I didn’t pay attention to people. I was antisocial as long as I could remember.  But something about Harry made me pay attention. His blue eyes, blonde hair, muscular build or my stupidity I could never know. But more I thought about it, the more it had become evident that it was my stupidity.

I sat shivering in the car with anger. I just saw the man I had made my future plans with thrusting those plans inside another woman, repeatedly. I had cursed him then and stormed out. It had been one hour of crying and cursing but he didn’t reach me. He didn’t apologize.

Offcourse he didn’t love me. I should have known that. That is was all just pretence, that I was another one of those hard girls to get that he got and would tell his friends in a pub afterwards. I didn’t think of all that when I fell for him. I was drowned in a pool of my own stupidity.

 

3.I had started my company 10 years ago, fresh out of college and young blood in my veins to push me. I had 3 people with me then, I had more than 1000 now. The pressure of their hopes on me was weighing me down. I was breaking with every passing second, I could feel it.

I always knew I was good at what I did. I enjoyed it and it had gotten me big. I had lived lavishly ever since, had more money than I knew what to do with. But it was all going to be a dream, a sweet one. I company partner and one of my closest friend was hoarding money and evading tax. The worst part was they had my sign on everything they did. Not that I was involved but that I didn’t care enough to check, and now it had come to fuck me up.

I had sunken deep into my chair as well as my thoughts, the soft cushion made me feel sleepy but I got up and rubbed my eyes. I walked up to the counter and took my car keys. I had brought it one year ago. The car of my dreams. I didn’t expect it to be with me for many days now. I wanted to ride it. My last ride in it before going to jail or someplace worse. I got out of the building into the parking lot and felt the chill of cold December air instantly. You really don’t care about seasons when you are in the comfort of your home or money. I rubbed my hands hoping for some warmth and opened the car. I plugged the key in and the car roared to life. It’s low hum sounded like music to the ears but I was to anxious to appreciate it. I pushed the accelerator and rode into the night air.

 

  1. It had been two hours since I last saw him. I was sad, miserable and desperate for a gun to shoot him, but life works in mysterious ways and gives you piece of shits like Harry rather than a gun.

I had nowhere to go and it was cold outside. So I decided to do the most logical thing. I jammed my keys into the car and sped forward. The asphalt was wet from the dew and there was hardly anyone on the streets. I sped a little and opened the windows. The night air sent a cold shrill down my spine and for a second I thought I would lose control, but I didn’t. I drove faster and faster, the cold air rustling my hair and making my ears numb. And then I thought of ways to die. Of all the ways currently present which one would be the fast and swift. I thought and thought till I had the answer.

 

-Officer Burke was on duty that night as he had been for the past 15 years of his service. He stood in the cold night leaning on his car with coffee in his hand, patrolling. He could feel the crispness of early winter wind. He regarded it a while and gave it two weeks before it would snow. One hour of patrolling and only two cars passed by, well under the speed limit. One of those nights, he thought. He finished his coffee and got back inside the sedan. The seat cold due to the cold wind. He shut the windows and turned on the heaters. He felt bored after some time and turned the radio on. A slow jazz music played, he had heard that song everywhere now. It was popular and it had been difficult avoiding the rhythm. He started singing along.

The song was halfway through when he saw it. He saw the faint headlights in the distance. The light scattered because of the dew. He had all his equipment but many years had given him a good enough judgement of speeds. And that car was well above the speed limit. A drunkard maybe. He turned the radio off and reached for his key. He would approach it. The car was getting nearer and nearer. Not slowing down. Just then a flash of bright light flashed from behind him on the other lane. He turned to see it, another car. He turned just enough to see the whole crash. The two cars had crashed headfirst, bashing the fronts in. The car coming from front had rolled and the other one split into two. Officer burke had fifteen years of experience, he had seen crashes, he had seen the dead, but none of this intensity.

He unfastened his seatbelt and hurried outside. Beads of sweat tricking down on his face. He reached for the upside down car. A hand lay on the ground. Dead. He hurried towards it and looked in. He was dead as he thought he would be. A gash on the head confirmed it. The man inside was young. No more than 30. The man was badly wounded but Burke recognized him. He appeared on the T.V many times, he had seen. One of those business tycoons. His company was in for some Tax evasion cases, the station had been abuzz about it. His name Burke tried to remember, Peter Dunst, yes it is him, oh my god.

He got up and went on to the other car split in half. The car had been torn from the centre and the girl was as dead as the other one. Most of her lower body had been cut off. It was a girl. Young, Gods have mercy. Burke could feel the vomit inside of him as he helped himself upwards and towards his sedan, he had an accident to report.

 

  1. I was there, just suddenly. I didn’t remember leaving that road. The last thing I remembered was the headlight that came towards me and how I didn’t want to stop and how I just kept going towards it as if it was the solution to all my problems. I was in the middle of a street in a place unknown. There were houses on either sides, their lawn covered with early snow. No one and no thing was on the street except for a bus stop at a distance. I started walking towards, maybe the buses led somewhere, maybe I could ask them and go home, to all that mess, my mess. A faint sound of laughter came through somewhere, a choir singing somewhere. It was Christmas. But Christmas was few months due as far as I remembered. This is creepy, I thought. I thought of going to one of the houses but decided against. Something told me to go for that bus stop. There has to be something.

It was longer walk to the bus stop than I had expected from the distance. But when I finally reached there I saw a woman, young and beautiful were the first thoughts that came to mind. I was excited at the prospect of seeing a person, but also scared all the same. I sat besides her. The metal beneath cold and hard. We sat there for a while.

“Do you remember how it happened, that moment, did you see it?” she asked suddenly.

I didn’t know what she meant, but something told me that she knew this place.

“no” I replied

“Good, I’m Grace Shelton”

“I’m Peter Dunst” I said doubtful of her, I didn’t know where this was going.

“Do you know this place?” I asked

“No, but this is the place that many people want to come to I think”

I didn’t have a clue about the place many people want to go.

“And that place would be?” I asked. The bench was small, good enough for two people

“I think you will know soon enough” she smiled. Not a normal smile though, a smile depicting pity.

And then she turned the other way, but I could make out her face. She had striking features, sharp nose and perfectly shaped lips. She was sad, I could tell.

“You look sad?”

“Yeah, all of us have reasons to be here, in this place.” I listened. “ My partner cheated on me. I loved him Peter, I thought I would marry him” a tear rolled down her cheeks, glistening in the night light.

“My partner cheated me too, though he wasn’t my marriage partner” she chuckled. “He was my business partner, turned all of my work to dust” I was sad now.

“All of us have our reasons to be here” she repeated.

“Or the world is full of cheating partners” This time we both shared a giggle.

Just then a choir walked in front of us. Young girls and boys giggling at some jest someone made. They looked happy. It was a peaceful place. The street was narrow and long with no end in sight on both ends. I just stared into the darkness and then epiphany hit me. I remembered the loud sound, that officer, that road, all of it.

I knew this place. “The place where all people wanted to be” I repeated and laughed. I laughed and felt relieved as if some burden had been lifted, I didn’t have to worry about my troubles, I was certain I wouldn’t face them again. I laughed louder.

“This place is beautiful” I said finally.

“So the people say, don’t they?” we both grinned at each other.

By now I didn’t expect the bench to be a bus stop but there in the distance I saw it, two faint headlights beeming. It neared and halted in front of us. The doors opened. The bus didn’t carry any signs of destination or source, it was just a plain bus. The driver looked straight ahead never giving the both of us a glance.

“Where do you reckon it goes?” she asked giving a hint of a smile.

“I think we will find out” I said and smiled. We hopped on the bus and it started and we started the journey until the next destination.

The Happy Days

 

1.Bran kept his head down as he boarded the school bus. He walked straight to the back seat next to Robin. Naturally, he was a restless kid, always distracted. But today, a feeling of dread resided his face as he clung to that thought. He wasn’t good at remembering things. His teacher made sure his mother knew that. No matter how hard he tried he would just forget it after a while.

Bran sat quietly until his gaze fell upon the marbles that Robin was playing with. He had his own collection but Robin always seemed to have the best ones. He wanted to win them. Bran slid across the bus seat near Robin and started trading, the thought he clung to started to fade.

The bus came to a halt and by then Bran had won 5 of Robin’s best marbles. He was delighted and eager to show them to his mother. He got down and started to think about all the things he would do today completely forgetting what he needed to remember. He had craft today, his teacher had told, followed by Maths and English. His school would end at noon and then he would head home. He would go home and see his mother watering the lilies and the roses. He would go running to his mother and she would pick him up in her arms and give him a kiss on the cheeks. She would prepare pancakes on weekdays and pies on weekends and he was happy because today was Saturday. His mother would then help him with his homework and his mother would tell him stories in the night. They would go to the park in the evening and play. They would eat popsicles and laugh. That was the part of the day he enjoyed the most.

Bran loved to see his mother smile, always. She was a meticulous woman. She always made sure the home was tidy. She had worked hard on her home, she loved it. She would always keep the windows open which would make the curtains flutter because of the cool breeze.

2.School ended and Bran rushed to the bus he sat their thinking of the expression on his mother’s face when he would show him the marbles he had won. The bus dropped him on his street. He started jogging, juggling the marbles in his hand. He reached home and the jog died. He stood there and he remembered. His heart sank, his eyes swelled up. He didn’t see the curtains flutter and his mother in the garden, instead the windows and doors were shut residing dust on their surfaces as if they had not been opened for days. The lilies and the roses had wilted. Dead due to lack of water in their roots. Bran remembered why they wouldn’t go to the park today and why he wouldn’t show the marbles to his mother. He remembered he had been living with his aunt now and his mother had been dead for 2 weeks. Dead due to the lack of life in her veins. The tears turned into sobs as he head the other way.marbles

JUNE.

 

1.Tom wheeler never really understood it. He never understood why he felt the way he felt for her. Profoundly enough, he knew it was the hormones. Oddly enough he couldn’t control it. He sought reason to everything, but the unexplained rush of blood through his veins when he first saw her or his elevated heartbeat whenever she would be near him bugged him. It hadn’t happened before. The problem was that she was the new student in class, so all this was new for Tom Wheeler. He wanted answers. He tried reading books, the only companion he ever went to whenever in doubt. He had absolute faith in his books. He believed that everything that has ever transpired has found its way into writing by someone somewhere. He just couldn’t find it yet                                                                   

* * *

It was Friday and lunch. Tom didn’t enjoy canteen food. He knew for a fact that Darcy the kitchen cook used stale raw materials for preparing their lunch. He had prepared a word document stating the evidences to the principle but later decided he didn’t care. He would skip lunch and go hungry on many occasions. But today he decided to eat in the canteen as he had nothing better to do.

                                                                    ——–

  1. Tom was used to being alone. He took great satisfaction in the fact that he was content in his own company. He didn’t need friends. He would tell himself about the vastness of the never ending universe and when we put it to perspective how insignificant we really are. Like speckles of dust in the air that get their moment of recognition only when the light shines. But since he saw her, he realized there was something missing from his life. Though like most people in this world he rarely believed he would get his moment of recognition in the light, but if it does happen he wanted to share it someone, he wanted to express It to someone. He needed someone to whom he could tell things he did, he felt.

* * *

He took his plate and poured his food on it. He noticed Darcy shooting a look towards him, perhaps someone else had found out or perhaps she just hated him, he didn’t care. He didn’t have any friends, so he didn’t have any company while eating lunch so he found himself a deserted table and proceeded to eat his lunch in silence. After the first bite, he started thinking of how his mother could cook better than this blindfolded. Just then a flicker of red caught the corner of this eye. It belonged to a girl who was standing at the counter. Darcy pouring some of that thing she called food into her plate. And then she turned.

                                                                      ———

  1. One day, Tom had asked father about why did he marry mom. His father smiled at him as if used to this sort of questions from his son and answered, “During my high school I was a bit of an odd pickle, I wasn’t necessarily easy to be with. But your mom saw through me, she accepted my flaws and insecurities. I felt better around her”

“So love is basically a tool to make yourself feel better about your flaws and insecurities?” Tom asked

“No, it is the thing with which you come to know of your flaws and insecurities and make peace with It. Look son, everyone has his or her flaws, they just choose the people they want to show it to.” He smiled.

Tom knew his flaws. He was shy, antisocial, uptight and ALONE.

* * *

He could feel his heart starting to race and the flow of blood through his veins. Here she was with a plate in her hand walking towards his table. He started taking gulps of the food in front of him. She sat down opposite to him. He kept staring at his food.

“I’m sorry, there were no table left” she spoke and it sent shivers down tom’s spine

“fine” he mustered, looking at his food as if it would disappear if he looked away.

“Hello?” she asked

“Hello…. Yeah!” he answered looking up

“The food here is pathetic. Much better than my previous school still” she smiled. He couldn’t help but notice the beauty in the curve of her lips and the sweetness in her voice.

 “Yeah, yeah..true that” he struggled

“Oh! Sorry, I totally forgot to introduce myself, I’m June” she smiled again looking for a response.

“Umm..nice, yeah..ohh, I’m Tom…Tom Jonathan Wheeler” he tried smiling but he couldn’t. He kept thinking about what his father told him about how everyone has flaws, but in that moment, he couldn’t find any in her and that baffled him.

“Nice meeting you TOM JONATHAN WHEELER” she emphasized his name as if it was some joke and laughed. Tom didn’t understand.

“By the way, I’m new here and have no friends yet, and I have to complete my term portion. I was wondering if you could help?” she asked. He didn’t even hear the question but something in his head said that he was already convinced.

He just had one question. He looked up to her and asked,“I’m your friend?”

She grinned and said, “If you want to” she looked at him and held her hand up for a shake.

He looked up at her, deciding.

                                                             ——–

  1. All his life Tom had been alone. This was the moment he always wanted, but never got. To have a friend. He didn’t care about what his father told him, he didn’t want to find her flaws and his, he wanted to find himself with her. He didn’t want to find her insecurities, they were hers, he wanted to find her. He didn’t want to find the answers in a book written by someone, somewhere he wanted to find a friend.

Maybe he would never find his moment of recognition, maybe he would never find the light, but he could have a friend and not be alone and he made his peace with that.

* * *

“I would like a friend” he said looking up at her for the first time properly. And she was breathtaking as he had imagined.

He held his hand up and went for a shake and held her hands. They both smiled.

“All right then” she stood up. Tom stood up behind her leaving their trays on the table.

“Let’s go” He made his way behind her. He looked at Darcy and smiled. He felt calm.

Oh Darwin ! My Darwin!

A century ago when modern world was heading toward rapid advancement and seeing rays of immense technological and scientific success through small cracks of hope, Mr. Darwin gave a theory that connected all of the human species that ever existed on Earth. It was named the theory of Evolution.

Mr. Darwin navigated the entire globe and looked at every corner of the Earth and gave us the line that is the base of our existence, the Dogma that ‘ONLY THE FITTEST SURVIVE, THE WEAK PERISHES’6231-carls-darvin-580x326

The word ‘PERISHES’ held a very narrow meaning for Mr. Darwin and the world then , but in today’s world it has a much larger meaning and a utterly significant one.

Darwin simply meant that the strong survives and the weak ones die. But the question is …is it really so?Does the weak really die or do they simply slip through the cracks and accumulate at the bottom while the stronger dominates?

The word ‘STRONG’ itself is a contradiction in Mr. Darwin’s statement. Does it indicate brawn or brain or both combined? Today’s world which has more intellectual value than a physical one indicates that the latter of brawn and brain is more significant.

AND, coming back to where do the weak go??…Die, perish or what? Well in today’s world they do not die but are left behind lingering in the corners and holding a discontent for the stronger ones.  They desire to reach where the stronger ones are , to be the stronger one.3962471_orig

But that is life isn’t it ? A constant race between the weak and the strong, a constant struggle for existence. In every walk of  life , every path we cross we see this struggle.

So, is there any chance that the weak will survive and the stronger perishes..well we’ll never know .The struggle will go on until the weak won’t give up and keep fighting. I read somewhere “To be born poor is no sin , but to die one is.” And that’s damn true.

So was Mr. Darwin statement just a overview, a trailer to the depth and trenches of this issue? Was he really that big a genius ?..Again We’ll never know

We will never know where we belong. We will have no idea on which side of the story do we fit in. It’s only when the struggle ends and we stop, only then and there we’ll know in our ending moments when our life is flashing before us, we’ll realize. And then we’ll realize whether we really achieved the greater perhaps or were we just in a illusion.