AS I LEAVE

Life was going great I had free tickets for a movie I wanted to watch for very long, bullies had stopped taking my case and the girl I had a crush on was finally on talking terms with me but then life happened and I died, the tumor in my lungs that had been feeding off me finally ate me whole.

From life, I don’t have any regrets except that I wasn’t able to tell the girl I loved how much I loved her. So now I’m here at this sparkly white place somewhere beyond the reach of the humans. When I came here I had my entire life mapped for the sins and good deeds that I have done and for which I will be judged later on. Turns out my sins are almost negligible but so are my good deeds. So I have to wait here till I’m taken to my judgement, till then I have to just roam around this sparkly white place along with other people.

They don’t talk, just walk around because this is a place for contemplation and just before going to your judgement you get to go to earth, at your own funeral, as a ghost. I didn’t want to see anyone back on earth in particular but let’s see, my parents are dead and I think I’ll probably find them here afterwards, definitely not my aunt with whom I lived and who treated me like I was nothing but a burden, but I would like to see my crush, Alaska who genuinely showed some concern for me in the latter stages of my short life.

So here I was at my own funeral. I wasn’t surprised when less than ten people showed up, none of which was my aunt, but I quickly forgot that when I saw Alaska. This was totally unexpected, yes we were on talking terms but I didn’t expect her to show up on my funeral. Hell, I didn’t expect the priest to show up at my funeral. But here she was and she was reading the eulogy. So I sat on my own casket and listened.

It was the usual stuff but then she said that she loved me and not the ‘He is dead so I love him’ but the ‘I loved him and wanted to be with him’. If I would have been alive, I would have blushed to death right there. But I was dead and she was helpless and both of us were miserable. I guess some regrets are worth to be had for the right people because you never know when they will be gone. I guess my judgement will come and I don’t know what that will be but for once I think I don’t care because I didn’t tell her how I felt when I was alive but knowing that she loved me back was all I needed to walk into oblivion and not care. For once, I was free.

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